What dreams are telling me

My mother has recently appeared in my dream every now and then. Last night she was complaining I was not doing enough. Somehow I was pursuing yet another degree on a scholarship, but also needed to do a part-time job, and countered that I could not do further than giving her 1,000 yen. She accepted it abruptly without saying thank you, which disappointed me.

Dreams are incoherent, but could tell some inherent issues. Whether family members, friends or colleagues, I don’t think one can achieve other’s expectation completely. People have different values, priorities and backgrounds, even though they are in the same family.

My father’s expectation to his children was very clear: to become a responsible adult who is able to feed herself. He had pronounced that line over and over again, and I hope I could meet it.

Meanwhile, I don’t know exactly what my mother expected me except for the minimum requirement of being a responsible citizen that will never become a criminal. Maybe she did not have any expectations beyond that, but I don’t even know whether that was the case. I don’t know even today what I should have done. That might indicate why I gave her 1,000 yen last night anyway because I didn’t know what to do, but that seemed to be off the point in her view.

Perhaps she might want to have a spiritual conversation with me. That is what I am going to do this weekend.